Nightmares

I woke up at 3:20 from a very disturbing dream.  I dreamt that I was walking bedside Trayvon Martin laughing and having a good time sharing a bag of skittles when we both look back and see that Zimmerman fellow with a gun running toward us.  We both take off running and then Trayvon was shot and stumbled to the ground.  I was screaming and attempting CPR and then a group of people run to us and I woke up! 

Trayvon Martin

I woke up sweating with my heart racing and a heavy feeling in my chest, and this was just a dream.  I can’t imagine what the parents of Trayvon Martin had to go through and are still going through with the trial in full swing.  It hurts my heart. It angers me. It scares me. 

Evan and his hoodie

Do I believe that Zimmerman set out to kill Trayvon?  No.  But I do believe that Trayvon was killed because of the color of his skin.  Let’s face it.  Zimmerman probably would not have been so suspicious of a Caucasian teenager walking in his neighborhood in the rain with a hoodie.  And even on the off chance that he was suspicious of a Caucasian teen, he would not have been so fearful that he would have brought out a gun and killed him.

I think about my beautiful little boys and I hate that they will more than likely have to deal with being feared, judged and disliked just because of the color of their skin.  I mean, it’s happened already.  We’ve already had to deal with the little white girl in Evan’s class who said she doesn’t play with black people.  To that my poor confused little Evan says
‘but mommy, I’m caramel…not black”.  I fear that I’m doing them a disservice by placing them in a school where both of them are the only blacks in their class in a school where black faces are few and far between.  They are just now starting to notice the difference and are actually OK with it but what do I do if this changes?  When the kids are older and meaner and they feel more and more isolated. 

Evan and his hoodie….again

I am not playing the race card because I think that racism flows both ways.  I’m stating reality.  It’s all around us.  Flat out prejudice.  Racial Profiling. It’s not just happening to other people.  It’s happening in our own backyard.  From the most rural of southern towns to most liberal of northern cities.  I won’t even mention what’s going on with Paula Deen because that’s a whole ‘nutha post entirely. 

I pray for justice for the Trayvon Martin family even though justice won’t bring their son back.  I pray for my babies sons.  I will not be overcome by fear for their lives because I know that they are covered by the blood of Christ and He will keep them protected.  He will keep them secure.

A mom and her boys

First Day of School 2012-2013

Well, I thought I’d be emotional.  I thought there would be tears. After all, both of my babies are now in school.  Next step…graduation… then college… then marriage… then grandkids!! I digress.  I’m happy to note that there was not one tear shed by anyone in the Lofton family.  I was a little nervous for my shy, reserved Ian but he was perfectly fine.  All that worrying for naught. Of course I have to post pictures for the world to see:

Here we are at Meet The Teacher Night…Ian is getting acquainted with his new ‘desk’

I laid the boys outfits and backpacks out the night before…we didn’t want any surprises

Evan looks like he has gas…just jokin’…isn’t he cute!

Ian really didn’t want to participate in the photo session but at least I got a smile.

And off we go!

In front of Ian’s classroom

Ian went straight to his new ‘desk’ like he’s done it a million times before. 

All in all, it was a great first day of school.  Ian got a certificate for singing a solo in music class (he loves to perform despite his shy personality).  And he even mastered the lunch line with ease.  There aren’t any pictures of Evan at school because he left Ian and I and wanted to go to his room alone.  By the time I made it to his classroom he was already deep in his math problems so I left him to it. Okay, actually his teacher stopped me at the door with my camera in hand and politely told me that Evan had already started his day (in other words…go home mommy and let your boy be a big kid) I was kind of bummed that I didn’t get a picture but education is more important than a photo shoot…right!?

Money! Money! Money!

The other day I decided to cash in all of our coins so I emptied all of our piggy banks and headed to Coinstar to turn our coins into cash!

After 15 minutes of pouring pennies, nickels and dimes into the machine and enduring all the stares from the people in the check out line at the grocery store, we ended up with $183.36! Watch out now! We are living high on the hog!

I decided to take the boys to open up their first savings account. They were really bored throughout the whole process and they didn't understand why we were giving their money to a nice little white lady to keep for us instead of heading to Toys r Us to spend our newfound riches on video games. Perhaps I should have done more education...ya think?

New Addition

We have a new addition to the Lofton family.  Ladies and gentlemen please join me in welcoming HAMMIE (a.k.a. Midnight Bucket) to our home.  This tiny little hamster is the cutest thing you ever did see.  I don't know if I've mentioned that I married a citified boy who has never owned a pet in his life so when he came home and saw Hammy, this is how the conversation went:

Terrance:  "Why do we have a rat by our fireplace, and what are we supposed to do with him?"  

Shanita:  "Terrance, it's not a rat... it's a hamster and it's a pet so you play with him like any other pet."

Terrance: "I'm not touching that thing. It looks like the rat we caught in the attic minus the long tail."

Shanita: "It may be a part of the rodent family but IT IS NOT A RAT!"

Terrance: "I'm still not touching it."

Shanita: "Good grief city boy!"

Please don't ask about the name.  Midnight Bucket was his given name but the Loftons kept messing the name up and calling him Midnight Madness and Midnight Moon so Evan renamed him Hammy...I know, creative right! Isn't he cute?

My only complaint with Hammy is that he has his days and nights a bit mixed up.  He sleeps all day and  is awake all night running on his ferris wheel thingy and it is a bit annoying when you're trying to sleep.  

Evan and Ian like to play with Hammy (unlike their dad) They are a bit rough but at least Hammy gets some kind of attention

I was a little concerned at first that Hammy would not last long in our home.  Evan has fed him skittles and filled his cage with treats.  Ian put him in his exercise ball and started shaking him up like a soda can.  Evan picked Hammy up and dropped him from three feet in the air when he scratched his hand with his nails and then placed his Nintendo DSi by his cage with the music playing (full blast) so he would wake up and play with him.  Get my point... my boys are a bit rough. But I think they are finally getting used to having him around so maybe there's hope for Hammy!

I love you this much

Words so sweet that you can't be angry that your son called you fat!

Mommy, my legs are this big.

And your legs are this big!

But I love you THIS much!!

This boy has a lot to learn about girls!

Out of the mouths of babes

Okay, a friend of mine did a question and answer session with her 6yr old and I thought the answers were hilarious. I decided to steal copy her idea and ask my boys the same questions just to see if I could get a glimpse into their minds. Some of the questions confused Ian a little bit...but hey, he's four!

Ian:
1. How would you describe yourself? I don't know.(OK, that was a tough one)
2. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? A lion because I like lions.(what a manly animal!)
3. What would be the ideal allowance? And how would you use it? A lot of money and I would keep it in a safe place.(hmmm)
4. What's the grossest thing you can think of? Watermelon because it's sticky feeling.(he loves watermelon so I'm not sure why it's so gross now)
5. What do you want to be when you grow up? A cop so I can get people in trouble. (wow)
6. What do you think makes a person good-looking? Makeup and soft, long hair.(I guess I'm not good looking)
7. What makes you happy? Video games and pasta. (we have a small video game addiction)
8. What's your favorite thing to do with friends? Play video games. (see...told ya!)
9. Do you want to have kids when you grow up? Yes...three.  Two girls named Sweetie and Deanna and one boy named Knuckles. (where does he get this stuff)
10.Name two things we should do as a family. Play together and have a date. (what do you know about dates?)
11. What's the nicest thing you've done for someone? Give them a present like Santa gives presents.(really?)
12. What's one thing you would like to tell your parents? Happy Birthday. (okaaayy)

Evan
1. How would you describe yourself? A boy with short hair and brown eyes. (that pretty much sums it up)
2. If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? A monkey because he has a funny looking tail. (wasn't expecting that)
3. What would be the ideal allowance? And how would you use it? 50 cents so I can buy me a video game and a Nintendo 3DS. (let's rethink that)
4. What's the grossest thing you can think of? Spiders because they bite and are poisonous. (this is true)
5. What do you want to be when you grow up? A firefighter because I want to help people be protected from fires. (that's pretty much what firefighters do)
6. What do you think makes a person good-looking? Straight, long hair and earrings with a dress.(Ok, what's with the long hair business?)
7. What makes you happy? Video games that have Mario & Luigi (Told you we have a video game obsession)
8. What's your favorite thing to do with friends? Play hop scotch. (really?)
9. Do you want to have kids when you grow up? Yes, Two girls named Peach & Daisy and two boys named Mario & Luigi.(These are all names of characters on video games...told ya we have issues)
10. Name two things we should do on the weekend as a family? Open our gifts on Christmas Eve and have a slumber party. (Sounds like fun, maybe we'll try it)
11. What's the nicest thing you've done for someone? Help them feel better by playing with them when nobody else would. (atta boy!)
12. What's one thing you would like to tell your parents? Mommy, you look pretty and daddy, you look handsome. (Awwww)

Black Eye

A couple of boys laughing, yelling and having fun while sliding down a slide resulted in this...




All of a sudden, I hear screaming and see tears rolling down Evan's cheeks. Apparently he and Ian crashed heads at the bottom of the slide. Kinda looks like he has on eye shadow doesn't it!?

(The top left picture was how it looked immediately after contact and the other three are from the next morning.)

With Love,
Shanita

Out of the mouths of babes

I recently spent an entire night with five boys ages 3, 4, 5, 6 and 3 months old.  It was actually a pretty docile night even with a baby that woke up every three hours.  Even Terrance was exhausted from all of the baby rocking.  I was pretty proud that I got through the night unscathed. I put on my big girl britches and packed them all up in the mini van and put my best foot forward.  I will admit that I was a bit nervous, especially with the three month old, but  baby Cannon proved to be the perfect overnight guest.  All he wanted to do was eat and sleep!  I wanted to share some of the quotes heard throughout the night from the rambunctious bunch ‘o boys to give you a snippet of the fun times we had!

Ian: Hey Gavin, did you know that Michael Jackson died because he was old and sick? (my boys love MJ’s music and have recently become obsessed with his tragic demise)

Gavin: My dog died too like Michael Jackson

Harrison: My teacher’s husband is dead too, he’s old…like 98 and he’s bald.

Ian: People die when they get old.  Like mommy is gonna die when she’s older than 34.

Harrison: You know, My dad pulled my teeth out with his t-shirt and there was blood on it.  I like the taste of blood.  It tastes good!

Me:  Umm…that’s kind of gross Harrison.

Harrison: Well, it does taste good.

***while swinging on the swing set at the park***

Evan: Hey Ian…does swinging tickle your penis?

Ian: yes, it does tickles my penis!

Evan:  Weee…it tickles my penis!

Greta: Ok,  how many more times can we say penis out loud and have all the moms look at us like we’re crazy!

Ian: Mommy, Gavin doesn’t want to be my best friend anymore…only Evan’s and I was jealous.

Me: No need to be jealous because people can have more than one friend!

Ian: But he’s my friend!

Me: Hey Gavin…You know your brother fell and broke his arm?

Gavin: Yeah, I know.  That was a bad decision.  He needs a time out!

 

There were so many more laugh out loud moments but I’ll leave you with these to brighten your day!

I Love God

Conversation in my back seat after leaving school:






Evan: I love Alice Carlson (That's the name of his school)

Evan: But I love you more mommy. Well actually, I love God even more.

Me: That's right Evan, you should love God more than anything!

Evan: Yeah, I love him so much that I want to rip out my heart and give it to Him.






Ian: No you don't cuz then you'd be dead!

Evan: But then I get to be with God!

(I should really put an end to this now gruesome conversation)

Me:OK, OK...Yes, a person would die if they ripped out their heart but that would physically impossible to do so end of conversation. However, I am proud of how much you love God!

Ramblings

Being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had.  I absolutely love my children so much that it hurts.  They are fun and smart and handsome and they can be so amazingly sweet at times.  I feel so blessed to have them in my life.  I love being their mother.  Despite the fact that they keep my house messy, they can be very loud, and they require constant attention... and food! I have an intense desire to protect them at all costs and that is what I will do until my dying day!

I'm sure you're wondering where all of this came from and I'll explain one day.  I hate to share it all with you at this particular time because it will open the floodgates that I've tried hard to keep closed.  I wonder sometimes if I'm actually thinking rational thoughts.  I wish someone could actually just look into my brain and see what I'm thinking so I don't have to actually explain it in words.  But I know that this too shall pass and I take comfort in knowing that God will never leave my side through any and all of my trials.  So I'll turn my frown upside down and enjoy each day to the fullest!

Burst of creativity

Sometimes I wonder what goes through Evan's head throughout the day. I'd like to know why he does some of the things he does. Like this...


I looked over his homework the other night and saw this girly elaborately designed lettering. I mean really... Where did this burst of creativity come from? I have never in my 30 something years of life added curly cues to my letters... and I'm a girl! And look closer...



He even added a flower above the 't'! Geez! I have no further comments!

Finally....A Post

It's been a crazy couple of weeks around these parts.  As evidenced by my lack of posting.  For the first time in 2 1/2 months I don't have a menu planned for this week!  My goal is to utilize the food we have to throw together meals for this week.  We'll see.  I'm not very good at last minute planning especially when it comes to cooking.

My boys are doing fabulous.  They amaze me with how much they've grown in the past few months, especially Ian.  He's taller than everyone else in his class and he's often mistaken as a student when we volunteer at Evan's school (I personally think he still looks like a 3 yr old and these people are crazy but whatever).

Evan has a new girlfriend at school named Sophia.  He started writing a book to express his love to her.

 Translation:

My Girlfriend

From: Evan  To: Sophia  By: Evan L.

Illustrated by: Evan L.

I asked him why he likes Sophia and he said "Because she has long hair!"  Umm....OK!  I then started to ask him about some of the other girls in class and why he didn't choose them to be his girlfriend.  His reply was "Sally Sue is mean to me" and "Betty Boop is bossy" so then I asked him why he didn't choose the only other black girl in his class to be his girlfriend (I couldn't resist) and to this he said "She's browner than me".  My eyebrows shot up to my hair line and I went all sista girl on him (I may have even rolled my neck!)  Terrance was sitting across the table saying "Sweetheart, he's only 6!"  I educated Mr. Evan on all the different shades of brown and how one is not better than or worse than the other and he should like someone because of the person they are inside and not because the color of their skin.  I then asked him what he thought of me, daddy and Ian since our skin was darker than his.  I got no answer!  At this point Terrance is shaking his head and muttering something under his breath about me needing to relax!

Maybe I'm taking it too far or going about it the wrong way (or maybe I need to check my own emotions) but I feel like now is as good a time as any for a reality check. This is the same kid that for the first three years of his life, claimed that he was white and argued with us when we told him different.  We've bought books on the subject, tried to expose him to other little brown friends, etc. At least now he tells us that he's light brown instead of white since he has darkened up a little bit over the years.  I'll take that as progress.

 We bought this book for Evan when he first declared that he was white!

I think my fear is that he will go through some sort of identity crisis when he gets older and realizes what it really means to be black.  The doors that will be closed for him that he'll have to push harder to open. (Cool metaphor, huh). The car doors that will be locked and purses held tight when he walks by.  The little girl of another race whose parents forbid her from dating him all because of the color of his skin.  I also don't want him to think that just because his skin is lighter that he's any better than his darker skin brothas and sistas. I guess I just want to instill in him a healthy respect and pride in his race.  I want him to embrace who he is instead of trying to be something he's not.  I'm sure you're thinking....man, all the boy said was that his classmate was browner than him.  Hey, it's about the big picture here people, the big picture!

 

Winter Weather Advisory

Evan just pelted Ian in the back with a snow ball!

Well, we have been under a winter weather advisory here in DFW.  We all know that a little snow and ice makes us Texans nervous and we start shutting the city down.  On Monday we hit 60 degrees during the day and overnight we were snowed in.  Gotta love it! We have been stuck here in the house for two days and I'm loving it but my husband is restless and has come down with a bad case of cabin fever.  He has risked life and limb for any reason to get out of the house including reasons like "I need to go to the Pawn Shop"  Are you kidding?  What could possibly be so important at a stinkin pawn shop?! When he's not putting his life in danger... he's out in the garage working on his mistress car: Candy, bundled up in two pairs of pants, hats, gloves and triple jackets trying to keep warm. Seriously!! We really aren't bad company... geez! Well, he did get to indulge in a couple of snowball fights with the boys, and he cooked some yummy meals and we watched a ton of movies so it hasn't been all bad!

Check out this fancy foot work while Ian tries to escape Evans vicious snow ball attack!

Mommy, It's cold out here! (I am behind the glass door taking pictures because I'm the only one with a lick of sense in this house)

Get him boys!

Video game 12 step program

Seriously! Sometimes I'm thankful that the games provide a distraction so that I can cook or clean or shower. But we may have to enroll these boys in a 12-step program to get them away from these handheld gaming systems!



Look how close they are holding it to their face! Geez! What kind of parent allows this type of behavior? And captures it on film. And blogs about it!?

Blood Shed

Do you see something wrong with this picture?




Yep...that's blood on our bathroom rug and towel!




And this is the poor toddler responsible for the blood shed. Doesn't he look pitiful? Once again, I was at work when Ian injured himself. I'm starting to see a trend here. This time he slipped in the shower.

My firstborn son is a very cautious kid to a fault. I can count on two fingers how many times he has been injured and one of those was at the hands of his little brother! He doesn't take chances and he considers the risks before proceeding. But lil' bro Ian is cut from a different cloth. He's a risk taker. He just goes after it! Which has it's pros and cons. My point is that I'm not used to all of these mishaps.

I hate seeing my boys injured. I have a friend whose kids are always shedding blood. Cut lips, eyebrows, chins, etc. She just chalks it up to boys being boys. I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and learn to deal with it.

Or wrap them in Saran wrap 24/7. Hey... Thats a good idea!



~Shanita~

Pray my strength

My boys have been acting up these past couple of weeks.
This is what it's come down to....



Self help books!



Hopefully I'll find some useful tidbits in one of these books. If not...well, let's just say these books and a lot of prayer are all I have left in my arsenal. I'm really close to putting them on a plane to Kansas City and calling my in-laws to tell them to head to the airport for a nice surprise (they have both retired and I'm sure they need something to do to occupy their time)!



~Shanita~