I lost my dear brother, Lamonte, three weeks ago to a massive heart attack at the age of 38 years old. I am finally at a point where I have somewhat accepted it. Or either I just realized there is nothing I can do to change the fact that he is gone. The funny thing about death is that we all know that everything that is living must die, but that doesn't make the pain any easier. I have never felt sorrow like this before and I have never hurt like this before. It is an emotional pain that hurts physically. I really feel at times like I am trying to breathe under water. It’s suffocating. I feel as though I have been changed on the inside, never to return to the carefree person I was before. I have had to find a new way of existing. Lamonte is always on my mind or not far from it. Through this journey I have learned several things about grief that I would like to share:
I know that the pain will ease and that life must go on. People have been losing loved ones for years. I'm not the first nor will I be the last. But right now my heart hurts as I struggle to find my new normal.