It's been a crazy couple of weeks around these parts. As evidenced by my lack of posting. For the first time in 2 1/2 months I don't have a menu planned for this week! My goal is to utilize the food we have to throw together meals for this week. We'll see. I'm not very good at last minute planning especially when it comes to cooking.
My boys are doing fabulous. They amaze me with how much they've grown in the past few months, especially Ian. He's taller than everyone else in his class and he's often mistaken as a student when we volunteer at Evan's school (I personally think he still looks like a 3 yr old and these people are crazy but whatever).
Evan has a new girlfriend at school named Sophia. He started writing a book to express his love to her.
I asked him why he likes Sophia and he said "Because she has long hair!" Umm....OK! I then started to ask him about some of the other girls in class and why he didn't choose them to be his girlfriend. His reply was "Sally Sue is mean to me" and "Betty Boop is bossy" so then I asked him why he didn't choose the only other black girl in his class to be his girlfriend (I couldn't resist) and to this he said "She's browner than me". My eyebrows shot up to my hair line and I went all sista girl on him (I may have even rolled my neck!) Terrance was sitting across the table saying "Sweetheart, he's only 6!" I educated Mr. Evan on all the different shades of brown and how one is not better than or worse than the other and he should like someone because of the person they are inside and not because the color of their skin. I then asked him what he thought of me, daddy and Ian since our skin was darker than his. I got no answer! At this point Terrance is shaking his head and muttering something under his breath about me needing to relax!
Maybe I'm taking it too far or going about it the wrong way (or maybe I need to check my own emotions) but I feel like now is as good a time as any for a reality check. This is the same kid that for the first three years of his life, claimed that he was white and argued with us when we told him different. We've bought books on the subject, tried to expose him to other little brown friends, etc. At least now he tells us that he's light brown instead of white since he has darkened up a little bit over the years. I'll take that as progress.
I think my fear is that he will go through some sort of identity crisis when he gets older and realizes what it really means to be black. The doors that will be closed for him that he'll have to push harder to open. (Cool metaphor, huh). The car doors that will be locked and purses held tight when he walks by. The little girl of another race whose parents forbid her from dating him all because of the color of his skin. I also don't want him to think that just because his skin is lighter that he's any better than his darker skin brothas and sistas. I guess I just want to instill in him a healthy respect and pride in his race. I want him to embrace who he is instead of trying to be something he's not. I'm sure you're thinking....man, all the boy said was that his classmate was browner than him. Hey, it's about the big picture here people, the big picture!
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My boys are doing fabulous. They amaze me with how much they've grown in the past few months, especially Ian. He's taller than everyone else in his class and he's often mistaken as a student when we volunteer at Evan's school (I personally think he still looks like a 3 yr old and these people are crazy but whatever).
Evan has a new girlfriend at school named Sophia. He started writing a book to express his love to her.
Translation:
My Girlfriend
From: Evan To: Sophia By: Evan L.
Illustrated by: Evan L.
I asked him why he likes Sophia and he said "Because she has long hair!" Umm....OK! I then started to ask him about some of the other girls in class and why he didn't choose them to be his girlfriend. His reply was "Sally Sue is mean to me" and "Betty Boop is bossy" so then I asked him why he didn't choose the only other black girl in his class to be his girlfriend (I couldn't resist) and to this he said "She's browner than me". My eyebrows shot up to my hair line and I went all sista girl on him (I may have even rolled my neck!) Terrance was sitting across the table saying "Sweetheart, he's only 6!" I educated Mr. Evan on all the different shades of brown and how one is not better than or worse than the other and he should like someone because of the person they are inside and not because the color of their skin. I then asked him what he thought of me, daddy and Ian since our skin was darker than his. I got no answer! At this point Terrance is shaking his head and muttering something under his breath about me needing to relax!
Maybe I'm taking it too far or going about it the wrong way (or maybe I need to check my own emotions) but I feel like now is as good a time as any for a reality check. This is the same kid that for the first three years of his life, claimed that he was white and argued with us when we told him different. We've bought books on the subject, tried to expose him to other little brown friends, etc. At least now he tells us that he's light brown instead of white since he has darkened up a little bit over the years. I'll take that as progress.
We bought this book for Evan when he first declared that he was white!
First of all, I hadn't seen your new blog header picture...WOW! Y'all are a gorgeous family! And, no, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I don't think he's too young to learn "big" lessons like this. It is so important!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This is my first time at your site. I know what you mean. I had similar fears with my fist child, and someone bought that book for us. I loved it! The different hair, skin tones. I pray my kids feel special, yet understand that being black is a wonderful thing. :) You have a beautiful family by the way.
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