Monday Manna

When I first decided to give my life to Christ it was exciting and scary and overwhelming.  I spent a lot of time thinking that I would never be good enough for God to love me and provide for me and care for me the way He did for Moses or David or my grandmother or my pastor.  I felt like I was too 'bad' and every time I didn't do something right, I beat myself up over it and felt guilt even after I'd asked for forgiveness.  Sometimes I even contemplated throwing in the towel on the whole Christianity thing.  Kind of like going on a diet.  When you have a bad week and gain a few pounds you are tempted to give up because you feel like you've failed anyway so you might as well enjoy your quarter pounder with cheese and banana splits since you've screwed everything up anyway. 

I also compared myself with other people a lot.  I would look at my First Lady and say, man...I'm not even close to being as refined and holy as she is.  Or I would look at our District Missionary and think...she is so sweet.  No one would ever say that about me.  I would even look at my husband and become jealous because he grew up with parents who taught him about God and who were excellent role models for how to live holy.  And I could not understand how he could keep his composure during the most trying of times when I so easily went off the deep end over minor things. 

I've come to realize that nobody is perfect and so striving for perfection will always leave me feeling like a failure.  As long as we completely sell out to God... meaning that we totally give our lives to Him... and obey His word (the Bible) then He will teach us and guide us and slowly peel away the layers of doubt, shame, bad habits, addictions, personality flaws and all the things in our lives that are unpleasing in His sight.  We can't do it on our own.  If we could then we wouldn't need a Saviour to begin with right?

So do your best and let God do the rest.  That seems like an appropriate motto to live by.  And when you fall short (and you will) just stop what you are doing, repent, and rededicate yourself to living for The Lord.  God does not want us to fail.  He's not standing in heaven looking down on us ready to punish us the moment we mess up (although all sin does have a price).  He is a just and forgiving God who loves us so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins so that we can have a relationship with Him. 

What more do you need?  God has given us everything we need to be successful in our Christian walk.  We just have to be smart enough to take advantage of what's in front of us!