Monday Manna

We spank our children. Sorry if you don’t agree with it. I will be more than happy to let my boys spend a week or so with you and then you can decide whether or not you still feel the same way! Just joking!

I will admit that I’ve had issues with spanking. I’ve even vowed never to spank my kids again. But I believe that if done correctly, spanking can be an effective way to discipline. Of course I’m going to share with you my reasons for and against spanking. I’ll start with the reasons I’m against it.

I think it’s hypocritical to tell my boys not to hit when spanking is actually hitting. I also don’t want to teach my boys to hit people when they are doing something that they don’t like. Boys especially are more prone to violence so I don’t want to feed into this predisposition.

Using my hands to inflict any pain on my kids is hard for me to accept. I circumvent this by only using a belt or in some cases, a wooden spoon to spank with. I used to spank with my hand until one day I raised my hand without the intent to spank and Evan ducked and looked frightened. I felt so bad. Also, it would be hard for me to love someone who inflicts physical pain upon me so is this the same for kids?

I don’t think parents should spank when they are angry. It is too easy to inflict unnecessary pain on your kids when you unleash your wrath and call it discipline instead of what it really is which is child abuse.

I do think that other forms of discipline should be used. Spanking should be only used for blatant acts of defiance and only after all other attempts at disciplining and redirecting have failed. Believe me, you can tell when your kid is being openly defiant. They get that challenging look in their eye like they are daring you to call ‘em out on their shenanigans.

Of course spanking can be effective if done correctly.

We only use spanking when all other forms of discipline have failed and only for blatant acts of defiance.

Spanking lets kids know that there are unwelcome, painful, immediate consequences for some actions.

Only spank after you’ve explained their bad behavior and why it shouldn't have happened and why you are choosing to spank them. Don’t just unleash your wrath on unsuspecting kids. How frightening.

Make sure you have set rules and boundaries so that kids know what they should and should not do. How can you expect them to obey rules that they have no idea existed. And for Pete’s sake…be consistent

Make sure you balance discipline with love. Kids should know without a shadow of a doubt that you love them. Their only memory of you as a child should not be of you raising your hand to discipline them. That being said, you should use corporal punishment sparingly.

Here’s a few scriptures comin’ atcha:

Proverbs 23:13-14: "Withhold not discipline from the child, for if you strike and punish him with the (reed-like) rod, he will not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

Proverbs 19:18(AMP): "Discipline your son while there is hope, but do not (indulge your angry resentments by undue chastisements and) set yourself to his ruin."

Proverbs 29:15 &17(AMP):15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left undisciplined brings his mother to shame.17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your heart.

I bet you’re wondering where all of this is coming from. OK, I’ll tell you. The other day Evan was being a naughty boy and Terrance decided to wear him out spank him. During this spanking, Evan yells. NO DADDY, I WANT TO SPANK MYSELF. So Terrance being the fair and just person that he is, let Evan attempt to spank himself. Of course he swatted and missed every time and Terrance had to take back the belt and finish the job.

Evan after his beat down spanking. What kind of mommy takes pictures of her kids in pain!