The Uncertainty of Motherhood

A friend of a friend of mine is on the fence about having children. She said that it’s the unexpected that is the scary part. It’s kind of hard to sacrifice what you know of as a good life for what’s uncertain.

I mean with kids you have to deal with spit up down your blouse, floating turds that disintegrate in the bath water, stretch marks, hormonal shifts that cause horrible acne and mood swings, the fear of a raising a snotty nosed brat instead of an angelic Gerber baby, birthing a kid that’s not cute (let’s face it…not everyone can be beautiful), the feeling of being needed ALL the time, feeling tired and overwhelmed, back strain from that doggone overstuffed diaper bag and infant carrier, the nagging worry that’s always in the back of your mind about whether or not you’re doing a good job with this whole parenting thing, nursery rhymes in heavy rotation on your iPod, play dates instead of spa dates, the strain of kids on a marriage, the possibility of having a kid with a personality that's just hard to raise, not to even mention if you have a kid with a disability or illness.

But think about all of the wonderful things that come with motherhood despite the uncertainty. The smell of the crook of your kids neck (after a bath to remove the sweat and spit up), watching your mini-me grow up and discover new things, feeling loved and needed by your children, the joy of watching a kid be a kid, feeling a love like you’ve never known could exist (I have never had the desire to lay down my life for anyone until I had kids…I would allow myself to be paralyzed from the neck down for my husband and I would risk a limb for a friend but I would DIE for my children!), looking into the eyes of a human being that you helped create…it’s surreal, knowing that when you are dead and gone, you have left a little something on this earth besides debt, unselfishly thinking of someone other than yourself, taking pride in the fact that you have had a hand in shaping your child's future, knowing that you've done your part to ensure that the human race will continue on, experiencing things through the eyes of a child (whoulda thunk that blowing bubbles could be so darn funny), feeling a pride in your DNA creation (that's why there are so many facebook profiles featuring pictures of their kids), Let's face it, it may be super fun to be childless when you are younger, but when you are old and gray who else will be there for you to listen to your stories of way back when and who will fight for you when the nursing home aides forget to bathe you or clean your dentures....you guessed it, your offspring (ok, maybe that last example was a stretch, but you get my point).

Of course whether to have children or not depends on lots of other factors as well.  I guess you just have to do some soul searching and have a little one on one time with God to really make the right decision in order to live a life without regrets.  Don't get me wrong, I think that you have to really want kids in order to be able to withstand all the uncertainty that parenthood can bring. I guess the point is that like all relationships, there are ups and downs and you just have to put on your big girl panties and make it through the hard times because the good times are oh so sweet!

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