5/5/10

What other parents never tell you about...


 
1. Sleep Deprivation - Gone are the days when you can sleep until your internal clock wakes you up on the weekends.  You now meet all the criteria to be called a narcoleptic because you have trained yourself to fall asleep at the drop of a dime so you can get in at least a 30 min nap while the kids are napping.  No need to set an alarm clock in the mornings because you have a human alarm clock that will wake you (even when the power goes out)

2. Bodily Fluids - All day, every day, these fluids are plentiful and always disgusting and they are produced at the most inconvenient times and my personal opinion is that these fluids can be produced by kids on demand when they are trying to get out of doing something they don't want to do.

3.  Feelings of Inadequacy - no matter how many good days you have, you will find yourself comparing yourself to June Cleaver and Martha Stewart (before jail time) or the mom down the block and wonder if you are doing all you can to make your kids functional members of society.

4. Lack of Control - Forget it.... you will never be in control again.  Your body has a mind of it's own, your time is not your own, your kids are not robots that you can program to do what you want when you want.  You can't get a handle on all of that doggone laundry and you can't even watch what you want to watch on TV because all you hear is "I wanna watch Max & Ruby!"
 
5. Sharing is Caring - We teach this concept to our kids but it really gets old when you have to share everything with your rugrats.  Mommy can I have some of your soda? Mommy can I have your bacon?  Mommy can I wear your jacket? Mommy can I sleep in your bed? Mommy can I play on your computer?  You don't know how many times I want to yell "NO, IT'S MINE!"

6. Stranger Danger - quality time with your significant other is hard to come by.  You have to work hard at not becoming strangers in your own house.  So many days, you will meet and greet in passing or do the kid hand off while you are both going your separate ways. So sad!

7. Emotional Roller coaster - There will be days when you stroke your beautiful child and look at him/her in awe and think to yourself  'I can't believe he came from me'  And a few minutes later when that same child is throwing a full blown tantrum in the middle of the floor with snot slinging everywhere while screaming at the top of their lungs you think to yourself  'There is no way on God's green earth that I birthed this child'

8.  Take Backs- You look back to the time before you had kids and remember thinking  'I have no idea how to raise a child'.  Fast forward to today and you find yourself thinking 'I still have no idea how to raise a child, but I wouldn't trade this job for any other job in the world!'



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