Living in Fear

I HATE SNAKES!

One could argue that it's an irrational fear....nonetheless I hate the little reptiles with a passion. I'd like to blame it on my dad. He has a fear of snakes similar to mine without the tears and the high pitch screaming. He always seems to have run-ins with them also. As evidenced y the shotgun holes in his trailer that he owns out in the country. Seriously, who shoots a gun at a snake in a trailer and thinks that it's a good idea? Aren't you just creating more avenues of access into the trailer? But that's a whole other post.

Anyway, I woke up Monday morning to a small snake coiled beneath my pantry doors. I screamed like a madwoman. Then I relaxed because the thing looked dead. So I decided to just ignore it until Terrance came home. Sounded like a good idea at the time. Well, when I went to put the cereal back into the pantry.....the snake was gone. Okay, I'm freakin' out now. I grab the boys along with their backpacks and lunches and throw put them in the car and we head off to Mother's Day Out.

I call Terrance on the way to tell him about our little dilemna. And would you believe me when I told you that he was not alarmed! He actually told me to relax and that he'd find it when he got home. AT 6:00! Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to wait in a house all day with a potentially dangerous animal lurking out of sight and be ok with it? Unnacceptable. After I let him know that, I called Animal Control and they had the nerve to tell me that they can't come out unless I have a visual on the snake. Are you kidding me - again? She then proceeds to tell me that if I see it to place a container over it and they will come out and remove it. "Listen lady, if I was brave enough to get close enough to put a container over it, then I wouldn't need your services!" UUGHHH!

So I retun home and try to gather up enough nerve to get out of the car and go inside. You should have seen me. I broke out into a sweat, my armpits started itching (hey....it happens all the time when I'm scared) and my heart starts beating fast. OMG! I am having a panic attack. Now I'm really flipping out, so what do I do? I start crying of course.

I grab a stick and start making a lot of noise and pushing everything on the floor around cause I can't handle any more suprises, then I get back on the phone with Terrance hoping that he will be my night in shining armor and come home and kill the missing snake so I can get back to life as usual. Sadly, that wasn't the case and now I'm angry and scared and I've concocted all these scenarios in my head on where it is now, where I'll find it later, what if it bites one of the boys, heck...what if it bites me, is it in my bag, my dresser drawers, the dishwasher, the toilet, the shower, under the sofa, since it was small then where's momma snake and is he gonna live in my walls and get bigger....this goes on for a while until I do what Terrance suggested and ask our neighbor fellow to come and see if he can find it so I can stop flipping out.

Well, neighbor fellow is unsuccessful in his hunt and I am now forced to lie on the couch (no dangling of the feet for me) and jump at any movement and/or shadow that I see until Terrance gets home.



Once Terrance gets home, he does some searching to no avail and runs across an even larger snake outside while mowing the lawn. Thank goodness he chopped it up into little pieces with the mower. But we are I am still living in fear that my slimy little friend will rear his ugly little head here soon.