A love affair with my hair

I did it! I mean I really did it. Back in December of 2008, I cut off all of my relaxed hair and decided to go au natural. It was a very freeing moment for me. Not spiritual, but definitely emotional in a sense. You see, I had to confront some inner demons.

All of my life, I have hated my hair. I have attempted everything in my power to run from my roots, literally. My mom put a relaxer on my hair when I was just a toddler. This was done after having to fight with me and watch tears run down my face while she tried to use the pressing comb on my unruly knots. The relaxer did what it was supposed to do for a few years. It fooled others and myself into thinking that those artificially made locs made me prettier. Then I betrayed my hair once again and donned a Jheri Curl for about 4 years. This was hands down the worse mistake of my life because when I decided to get rid of my Jheri Curl, it was all downhill from there. My hair was brittle and damaged and it would take years to undo that damage. Once I got into middle school I went back to my relaxer, again, and kept it that way for over 18 years!

Oh, I’ve done lots of other creative things to hide my inner knots. Can you say micro braids, extensions, weaves, and a host of other cover ups. All that to say…..I’m Free! I wake up in the morning, splash a little water on my hair and slather whatever product I have on hand, finger style it and two minutes later, I’m done.

This story is a part of my blog because I was thinking the other day ....'man, I'm glad I don't have a daughter because I don't have to comb hair everyday' . I will admit that when I first found out I was pregnant I was actually relieved that I was having a boy because I knew that it’s easier growing up as a kinky haired boy instead of a kinky haired girl. And that’s just sad. I know that the makeup of your hair does not define your beauty, intellect, or success in life……or does it. Is it the girl with the kinky hair who wins the Oscars in Hollywood or is it someone with the long (or short) straight hair who is seen as beautiful. Kinky haired girls are not Hollywood leading ladies or R&B super stars or Victoria Secret supermodels. Rocking natural hair makes people think that you are earthy or even…lesbian. They don’t see it as a person simply being comfortable in their own skin or proud of what God gave her.

I still have to bite my tongue when I tell Evan to brush his nappy head and I still have days when I’m like….what have I done when I look in the mirror. I even still secretly wish my hair was a little bit softer, or less kinky or longer, etc. I’m still amazed at the reaction my TWA (teeny weenie afro) gets. Some people love it, and others hate it. I’m even more surprised that those who love it are either older black ladies or younger white ones. Strange! I guess the point I’m trying to make is that my hair is a part of me and loving it is part of loving myself.

Can't really see it but here's me and my TWA