2/22/10

Monday Manna - Fear

I have a friend who shall rename nameless who once (or twice) told me this quote. “Shanita, you are like a car in park revving up the engine but not going anywhere.” 
She was referring to all of my ‘ideas of the week’.  You know…those times when one week I’m considering going back to school.  The next week, I want to be a stay at home mom and have more kids.  The week after that I am starting a new exercise program or diet.  She says I’m all over the place and that I can be emotionally draining (yes, even after all of that….she’s still my friend)!
Well, I began to ponder why I have an issue with completing (or even starting) some of my ideas.  And it all came down to a little word called FEAR.
I put off applying to grad school because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be accepted or if I did get accepted, I wouldn’t be successful in the program.  I put off having more kids because I was scared that three kids would send me to an insane asylum it would be difficult for us to have more and we’d already gone through infertility issues once and I didn’t want to relive that frustration.  I put off starting a new exercise or diet program because I felt like I just couldn’t lose 15 20 pounds on my own.  You see, my inability to move forward with all of the wonderful ideas in my head is because of fear.
God is a sovereign God and He knows the desires of our hearts.  As long as we line our desires up with His will, then He will give us everything we need to be successful in all that we do.  Even if things don’t work out the way we planned. Say for instance I don’t get into my first choice in graduate schools or we did struggle a few months or so with not being able to conceive instead of getting pregnant right away, or I did start a new exercise program and it takes a year to lose 20 pounds instead of the 5 weeks that I had in mind. The point is that we should put all of our faith and trust in God instead of in ourselves and not let fear paralyze us.
So I decided that two kids is plenty for us, not because I’m scared that we can’t have more but because we decided that we’re done.  I applied to graduate school a few weeks ago even though I didn’t quite meet all of the requirements (hey… you never know).  I even started working out today putting my LA Fitness membership to good use. NO MORE FEAR!

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified Bible)

7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

1 comment:

  1. See, you need a good friend like me to get that dang car outa park so you can start driving!! Moving forward is a good thing, just never look back...

    ReplyDelete

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