Nightmares

I woke up at 3:20 from a very disturbing dream.  I dreamt that I was walking bedside Trayvon Martin laughing and having a good time sharing a bag of skittles when we both look back and see that Zimmerman fellow with a gun running toward us.  We both take off running and then Trayvon was shot and stumbled to the ground.  I was screaming and attempting CPR and then a group of people run to us and I woke up! 

Trayvon Martin

I woke up sweating with my heart racing and a heavy feeling in my chest, and this was just a dream.  I can’t imagine what the parents of Trayvon Martin had to go through and are still going through with the trial in full swing.  It hurts my heart. It angers me. It scares me. 

Evan and his hoodie

Do I believe that Zimmerman set out to kill Trayvon?  No.  But I do believe that Trayvon was killed because of the color of his skin.  Let’s face it.  Zimmerman probably would not have been so suspicious of a Caucasian teenager walking in his neighborhood in the rain with a hoodie.  And even on the off chance that he was suspicious of a Caucasian teen, he would not have been so fearful that he would have brought out a gun and killed him.

I think about my beautiful little boys and I hate that they will more than likely have to deal with being feared, judged and disliked just because of the color of their skin.  I mean, it’s happened already.  We’ve already had to deal with the little white girl in Evan’s class who said she doesn’t play with black people.  To that my poor confused little Evan says
‘but mommy, I’m caramel…not black”.  I fear that I’m doing them a disservice by placing them in a school where both of them are the only blacks in their class in a school where black faces are few and far between.  They are just now starting to notice the difference and are actually OK with it but what do I do if this changes?  When the kids are older and meaner and they feel more and more isolated. 

Evan and his hoodie….again

I am not playing the race card because I think that racism flows both ways.  I’m stating reality.  It’s all around us.  Flat out prejudice.  Racial Profiling. It’s not just happening to other people.  It’s happening in our own backyard.  From the most rural of southern towns to most liberal of northern cities.  I won’t even mention what’s going on with Paula Deen because that’s a whole ‘nutha post entirely. 

I pray for justice for the Trayvon Martin family even though justice won’t bring their son back.  I pray for my babies sons.  I will not be overcome by fear for their lives because I know that they are covered by the blood of Christ and He will keep them protected.  He will keep them secure.